Rob Howley can smile again. Having overcome his darkest moments, he is finally ready to look forward.
In 2019, Howley’s life was turned upside down. Just days before the World Cup started in Japan, the then Wales assistant coach was sent home for betting breaches.
The former Wales and British and Irish Lions scrum-half was banned from rugby for 18 months – nine of them suspended – and found himself in a “dark tunnel” of deep trauma and introspection.
But with the support of his family, the 50-year-old emerged from that darkness to make a fresh start.
Howley was appointed Canada assistant coach in September 2020 and, earlier this week, it was announced his side would face Wales at the Principality Stadium in July.
“It was certainly the most testing time of my life and I’m glad I’m through that now,” Howley tells the BBC Scrum V Rugby podcast.
“That has given me renewed strength, the support I’ve had from my family
“It’s about looking forward now, to a summer tour back in Wales. I can smile again.
“The script of playing against Wales first game back, you couldn’t write it really. There’s something to look forward to and personally is just great to be back involved in rugby and coaching again.”
It has been a long, arduous road for Howley to reach this point.
Following his suspension, an independent disciplinary committee found that the death of Howley’s sister, Karen, in 2011 had triggered his betting.
Over four years he made 363 bets, covering 1,163 matches, including some on Wales that included first try scorers.
Howley struggled to talk to anybody about his family’s tragedy but, after his ban, he discovered how discussing his feelings with others could help.
“It [talking] has been huge, huge for me,” Howley says.
“I wish I had spoken out and spoken to a number of people when I went through the experience I did in the World Cup.
“Now I can have a conversation. I never talked to my mum about my sister and losing my sister the way I did, now I’m able to do that but I wish I did that back in 2011.
“It’s something which I wish I had done, but that’s life and you live and you learn, and I certainly have learnt over the last 18 months.
“To speak out is so important and, if I can get a message across in the interview, it’s don’t be scared of speaking out.”
A weight seems to have been lifted off Howley’s shoulders when he speaks, and now he can get back to the job he loves.
Canada’s visit to Cardiff on Saturday, 3 July means Howley will face Wales for the first time since his World Cup departure.
It will be a novel experience for Howley to sit in the away dressing room, having won 59 caps for Wales and spent 12 years with the team as a coach.
And after his painful time away from the sport, it is a new experience for which he is ready.
“Watching Wales after the World Cup in 2019 was difficult because, through your journey as a coach, you make good friends, and you know good people,” Howley says.
“Within the Welsh Rugby Union, within the management team, I’ve got very fond memories and good memories that I don’t want to lose or forget.
“I’m very fortunate I’ve got a loving family who have supported me through a really tough time – a really tough time.
“For me now it’s about looking ahead, and I am in a really good place.”
You can listen to the full interview with Rob Howley on the BBC Scrum V Rugby podcast and via the BBC Sounds app.
Article courtesy of BBC Sport
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